|This page is the transcript for the episode "Spellingg Bee". Feel free to correct any errors.|
SCENE: Santa Barbara. 2006, Present. Shawn is outside getting a news paper, he going into the dinner to find a girl sitting at his usual spot, who turns out to be Juliet
Shawn: Um, excuse me your in my seat.
Girl at dinner: (turns to look at him) Am I?
Shawn: Actually yes you are.
Girl at dinner: Are you one of those weirdo compulsiveness who come to that same restaurant ,
Shawn: (pause) Ah no, I was sitting right there three minutes ago and I went outside to get myself a paper(shows her paper) I ordered a juice(takes juice) Look (picks up straw wrapper) I made a crawly snake with a straw wrapper, you can finish it if you are up for the job.
Girl at dinner: (smiling) Alright, want me to move?
Shawn: Not anymore (sits down) So whats up.
Girl at dinner: (folding news paper) I don't have time tot talk.
Shawn: But you haven't heard what I'm going to say.
Girl at dinner: See, now we've already talked more than I wanted to.(she reaches for purse to make sure its still there and goes back to reading menu, Shawn notices cat hair on her shoes and sleeve and a picture of her parents)
Shawn: Well, I did give you my seat you know. I do think that gives me one question.
Girl at dinner: (turns back from menu) Listen, dinner guy...
Shawn: Shawn.(interrupting her)
Girl at dinner: Shawn, I'm flattered really, very often I'm happy to meet new people, but today right here right now, we can't talk.
Shawn: I understand, I do. What if i do the talking for the both of us
Girl at dinner: Have at it, do you mind if I read the paper and stare amiously out the window while you two talk.
Shawn:No,(sarcastically) can I get a name to work with? (takes a sip of his drink)
Girl at dinner: Juliet.( starts reading paper again)
Shawn : (in his voice) Well its very nice to meet you Juliet (in a girly voice) Well its very nice to meet you to Shawn, and I;'m sorry about your seat, so lunch is on me. So what do you do for a living? (his voice) Well,(turning to Juliet) a little bit of everything (in a girly voice) Oh that sounds interesting, and maybe a little bit dangerous. Oh I like you jacket, I like it a-
Juliet O'Hara: OK, I need to stop you there, 9looks at him) first off in your portrayal of me, I sound like I'm in eighth grade.
Shawn: Well in my portray of you you only have an eighth grade education.
Juliet: Huh. (laughs a little)
Shawn: Alright smarten you up, ah college, (Juliet turns to him than turns away smiling) yea top of your class, graduate early, got it. (in girly voice, slowly going back to his) I'm new to town, and I don't know many people, but i do know my cats, tow of them, the grey one is very affectionate, the white one makes we work much much harder with attention. (in his voice) And what about you family? (in girly voice, slowly going back to his) My family is amazing, my parent have been together for what 30 years now.
Juliet (turns to him, a little creaped out) OK, do we know each other?
Shawn: Yes, you are the girl who stole my seat. (someone comes in and Juliet starts to act paranoid then Shawn realizes she might be a cop.) Oh my gosh you're a cop.(hand half way over mouth, eyes completely off the man who came in)
Juliet: I'm not a cop. (acting a little reeked out)
Shawn: The paper, the vantage point and the layout of course, got defensive when scary guy walked in, you are totally a cop. (talking while hand is halfway over his mouth)
Juliet: OK, Shawn, I may need you to do me a favor.
Shawn: Name it.
Juliet: Duck! (she pulls out her gun and a few other undercover cops pull out theirs, Carlton Lassiter comes into the dinner, with his gun pointed at the man, he takes one look at Shawn and leaves the dinner)
SCENE: Santa Barbara, 1989 - Gus is perticipating in a spelling bee and Shawn is nothing him the words.
Prsentor: 30 seconds Mr. Guster.
Burton "Gus" Guster: A-(pause) g (pause looks at Shawn who is telling him the words) g (Shawn is nothing the words) let me start over, Tournament, a-g-g-o (buzzer rings)
TV Presenter: Beautiful Santa Barbra is the backdrop for this afternoons coverage of this years American spelling bee, being held down town at the Cabreo Theater. Champions form all over the western United States have made the track to test - (Gus turns off TV and goes back to desk)
Shawn: What are you watching?
Gus: Nothing. (quietly)
Shawn: Is that Korean Porn? (puts away bike, walks over in front of Gus's desk) Come on man.
Gus: Its the regional finals of the American Spelling bee.
Shawn: What? (standing next to chair in front of Gus's desk)
Gus: don't mock me, its a huge event.
Shawn: Nah, I'm just shocked you didn't take the whole day off.
Gus: Its on sports count two for your information and its hosted by Bud Collins.
Shawn: Really, did they bump the car washing championship for this, is it over soon because I would like to get back to the wood carving final. (moves to Gus's desk as Gus walks over to TV and turns it back on)
Bud Collins: Lets recap Santa Barbra's high unexpected-
'Gus': It's hosted in Santa Barbra this year, (talking over TV) down at the Cabreo, its huge, sold out, I tried to get tickets but you got t know somebody.
Shawn: (Moves to his desk) It's really lame, I cant believe you are watching that.
Gus: I'm taping it(turns to Shawn) and I don't care what you think Shawn, I watch the Bee's every year.
Shawn: OK, for your sake and mine, stop giving them hip little names.
Bud Collins: Those of you who have just joined us, well a bit of a shock and a little sad to, the heavy favorite has had a bad spell and Brendan Wu is out!
Second Tv Presentor: Boo hoo for Wu Bud.
Gus: Brendon Wu is out, already. (shocked)
Shawn: OK, now you are just scaring me.
Gus: Come on Shawn, he placed second last year everybody knows that.
Shawn Spencer: No, Gus nobody knows that, except for Brendon and his mother. (in front of his desk, standing)
Burton "Gus" Guster: OK.
Bud Collins: We're going to show this again, it looks like young Wu may be having trouble breathing.
Second TV Presentor: He does like like to be under some sort of duress Bud. His inhaler did not appear to help and aperaed-
Gus: DANG. (slowly and quietly, as Shawn moves in front of TV)
Shawn: wait a second, (grabs remote) did you see that? (notices he couldn't press down on inhaler)
Gus: Shawn get out of here.
Bud Collins: For 35 seconds... (trails off as phone rings and Shawn goes over and answers it)
Shawn Spencer: Psych, cover phone with hand) it's the Chief (goes back to talking) no, I'll have to cheek with Gus (covers phone) are be available? (goes back talking) appears we are, we'll be right there. (hangs up phone)
Shawn: I can get us into the Spelling Bee.
Shawn : Guess I was right about the Bandon Dunes thing.
Gus: Brendon Wu.
Shawn: You sure?
Gus: you sure they need a physic detective for that?
Shawn : They don't unless it was sabotage, kid says his inhaler felt funny, when he used it his hand stung,(sits down) paramedics get there no inhaler apparently the thing just vanished into thin air. (Gus quickly grabs his things)
Gus: Shawn we are so taking this, lets go. (rushes out door)
Shawn: How come I cant get you this exited about girl? (still sitting, shouting)
Gus: Lets go!(in the distance)
Shawn: Or Mexico.